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Tips for political refugees

After routing his last two rivals in Tuesday’s Indiana primary election, Donald Trump has just about locked up the Republican presidential nomination.

And despite getting burnt by the Bern time after time, Hillary Clinton appears to be a shoe-in for the Democratic nod. 

During the primary fray, millions of greenbacks have been spent on smear ads against the varied candidates. So can bet your bottom dollar that once the presidential race takes off, billions more will be devoted to digging up dirt and playing up the dark sides of both Clinton and Trump. 

As famed journalist Carl Bernstein observed this week, “It’s going to be a helluva mud fight.” And that will surely enhance the fears of many American voters who see doom and gloom looming on the horizon, depending upon perceived evils of whichever party captures the White House.

Weighing in on how the public is reacting to the current political scene, one television commenter remarked that Internet searches on moving to Canada have spiked 1,000 percent since Super Tuesday. Regardless of the accuracy of that figure, one can assume there’s a parallel trend going among phobic voters now considering migration to Mexico. 

Yikes! The Lake Chapala area ranks high up on the list of the most popular destinations for expat settlers. And I’m ringing my hands over possibilities that this corner of the planet could turn into a mirror image of East L.A., renowned as home to largest the nation’s single largest Mexican population. Perish the thought. 

Anybody out there ready to launch a #don’t-come-here crusade? 

Topics to highlight might include our daily traffic woes, the excess of ear-splitting music and booming cohete rockets that come with frequent festivities, the proliferation of litter and deficient garbage pick-up service, money-hungry traffic cops, lax enforcement of local regulations designed to improve our quality of life, and the poor prognosis for a cleaner, healthier Lake Chapala. 

Here’s my advice for would-be American political refugees:

Go to San Miguel de Allende. It’s a beautiful and orderly colonial city that stands out for its history, architectural gems, top notch restaurants, thriving cultural scene and well-established expat community. 

Go to Cuernavaca, another charming town located close to the nation’s capital known for its delightful year-round climate, lush green zones, world-class spas and Spanish language schools.

Go to Puerto Vallarta, a coastal paradise boasting a laid-back atmosphere, a lively night life, every imaginable modern amenity and service providers accustomed to catering to foreigners. 

Go to Baja California, sitting close to the U.S. border with attractive spots like La Paz, Todos Santos and San José del Cabo where you can comfortably put down roots and keep busy with golfing, water sports, ecotourism adventures.

Go south to the Yucatan peninsula, a growing hot spot for foreign immigrants. Choose Merida, a lovely cosmopolitan city distinguished by its tree-lined streets, busy sidewalk cafés, proximity to Gulf-coast beaches and cheap real estate. Or Playa del Carmen or Cozumel, set on the shores of gorgeous turquoise Caribbean waters, and near to magnificent, mysterious Mayan ruins.

Go to Google and explore all your options. Because lakeside is in danger of losing its enchantment as an authentic Mexican haven if it becomes overrun by a new influx of outsiders. I say that because Chapala’s mayor recently stated that close to 20,000 foreigners reside here during the winter months. That’s bordering nearly half of the municipality’s total population. Scary, huh?