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Last updateFri, 03 Jul 2020 9am

History Lesson 4, from a 2080 SuperZoom class

Boys and girls, we’ve changed a lot since the 2020 coronavirus pandemic.

Yes, I know you’re still asking why do we still have the watch pocket on our jeans. We’ll be debating that for a long time. But let’s look at some other lessons.

Eating

Twenty-five thousand years ago we ate raw meat with our hands. Then a tech dweeb came along who spent most of his time in the cave painting bison, until his wife said, I want to redecorate with wooly mammoths. So he went off and discovered fire but no one was allowed to use this new energy without a background check. He finally convinced everybody to put meat on the fire. Then a cave woman added oregano. And gourmet dining began.

Thousands of years later, food was served on flat rocks and then on a wooden table. Table manners were later invented and we started to look civilized, but still ate with our mouth open. And then came the greatest invention of all – refrigeration. Food storage meant no more warp-speed, food-express digestive evacuations. Then foods in healthful variations were made by others and frozen, and we just bought them, heated them, and threw away the plates, cutting down on kitchen time and burnt lasagna.

After the 2020 pandemic, another breakthrough had pre-cooked food of all kinds delivered to our door, so we didn’t have to do anything but click and eat. So you see, little children, eating today is just a thought process away because of the 2020 pandemic and touchless delivery.

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