There's an old Mexican tale that on Christmas Eve, the animals will lie about the barn and speak with one another while others will argue with the movie, "It's a Wonderful Life."
Acquired from folks hiding in barn lofts and hay fields, here's what one surveillance group heard and rushed to this newspaper at the last minute, before they entered the hospital with two cases of Lyme disease.
Big Sow waddled up to Goat (a fellow so good-natured he was voted most likely to wind up in a birria dish). “Do you remember when they called pork 'the other white meat'?” Big Sow asked. “We pigs felt pretty good about that. I mean me and conservative white supremacists were equal in a weird sort of way.”
“Except that you roll in the mud to cool off,” Goat clarified. “When they do it, it's a lifestyle statement.” Big Sow was quick to agree. “And they've given their disease to us this year,” Goat added. “The unvaccinated pinheads are walking petri dishes.”
“They should all be forced to nose-swab a buffalo herd,” Quick Brown Fox quipped.
Please login or subscribe to view the complete article.