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Last updateFri, 21 Sep 2018 10am

Church’s nine exorcists swamped with work

Without any warnings, I find out a record number of  people in Mexico believed they’re possessed and are seeking exorcisms. This is worrying, because all I have in my bodega is some raccoon repellent. And it never worked.

The College of Exorcists says that the nine exorcists who work in the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Mexico are swamped with requests for exorcisms. And journalists like myself are afraid to report on it, for fear of being harassed or, worse, have my head spun 180 degrees.

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On February 25, exorcist Friar Benigno Palilla of Rome said that 500,000 cases of demonic possession were reported in Italy annually (and several have become made-men). Of Sicilian descent, you hear about all these demonic possessions, and you start to notice your own symptoms. I look in my mirror and I’d swear I’m starting to look like El Chapo. I scream every Easter, “Why are we celebrating a man who rose from the dead, by giving each other chocolate bunnies!” (Somewhere along the way I missed a catechism lesson.) Also, some mornings before coffee, I’m told I speak in tongues.  These could be the work of the devil.  Or, a bad pozole.

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