09222018Sat
Last updateFri, 21 Sep 2018 10am

Over the hill? Time for a lift

Cosmetic surgery is often viewed as our interminable battle against aging. What seems to be different today in many places is that it’s acceptable to talk publicly about all those age-removing techniques.

Not so long ago, these things were kept a secret. Remember when people suddenly got young or bosomy and they told you they were just taking extra zinc?

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There is a great story about a handsome man who marries a beautiful woman and their children all turn out to be extremely unattractive, looking nothing like either parent. The father questions his patrimony, and so a test is done. And it proves the children are his. He doesn’t believe it and rages for his wife to own up.  Finally, the mother admits that she had extensive plastic surgery long before their marriage and never told him. This ends their relationship. Court document Reason For Divorce: Ugly kids.

Besides explaining the role vanity plays in all our lives, this anecdote may also explain why everybody now talks about their various self-imposed works of aesthetics without  any qualms. “Oh yes, had this stretch last year. No, that’s not a sideburn, that’s my eyebrow.”

The real problem with this cosmetic business is that many general surgeons or other medical practitioners hop on the cosmetic surgery bandwagon in pursuit of greater profits. They have certificates all over their walls, but some can be podiatrists. Your face might come out okay, but may need a pedicure every month.

The American Board of Cosmetic Surgery recommends:

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