The Daily Mail, a bastion of journalistic integrity if there ever was one, has trained its keen eye on yet another matter of vital importance to its home country of Britain and, to be sure, the world.
The matter under discussion is the father of former actress and soon-to-be-princess Meghan Markle, Thomas Markle, aged 77. He lives in San Antonio Del Mar, a small town in Baja California the Mail describes as “murder-plagued” and “shabby.”
The gist of the article seems to be how extraordinary it is that Thomas Markle – who the article’s author, Tom Leonard, elegantly limns with even-handed adjectives such as “unkempt” and “shambling” – will soon attend his daughter’s wedding and thus inevitably rub shoulders with the British Royal Family. For you see, between the Windsors and Markle, who the writer describes as living alongside a “large, stinking open sewer emptying out onto an empty and rocky brown sand beach where even the birds are speckled a dirty brown,” there exists a “vast chasm” of social difference.
The article goes on to document the deficiencies which make his sudden proximity – legal, if not geographical – to the royal family laughably absurd. These include being overweight, anti-social (he leaves his home only to “stock up on another six-pack of beer or his favorite chicken tacos”), financially near-destitute, and monolingual.