While NBC news anchor Lester Holt was fine tuning topics to pose for discussion at this week’s presidential debate, I buckled down to draw up my own list of pressing questions regarding the much anticipated Clinton-Trump face-off.
After all, it was billed as the campaign season’s equivalent to the Super Bowl and, for an incurable news junkie there were important matters to settle beforehand.
There was no doubt about where to hunker down for the spectacle. I had no interest in attending a public screening. Home is where the heart is … and comfortable surroundings, the most important being a private bathroom close at hand.
My viewing options were also clear. Since uninterrupted internet access couldn’t be guaranteed, live streaming was out. So it boiled down to a toss-up between CNN International and Fox News, the only U.S. outlets available through my satellite service. (I ended up surfing between the two, puzzled over why the Fox transmission played with a five second delay.)
The most critical question was what kind of fuel would be needed to weather the 90-minute gab fest. Should I whip up steak sandwiches in case the encounter came up short on red meat? Buffalo wings to spice things up? A big batch of popcorn to satisfy that compulsive munching that goes with watching any gripping drama?
More importantly, what to drink? A pot of coffee to keep me going if it turned into a sleeper at the very hour my body clock runs down? Bourbon, in strict keeping with my American roots? Tequila straight up, to toast solidarity with my Mexican brothers and sisters who are so deeply concerned about the election outcome?
What sort of meds should I stock up on to cope with the aftermath? Aspirin? Pepto Bismol? Xanax? Hemlock?
I wondered which talking heads to follow for the most interesting, if not impartial, post-mortem commentaries. Anderson Cooper, Wolf Blitzer, John King and CNN’s gang of panelists and Fox anchors Biil O’Reilly, Megan Kelly, Sean Hannity and their guests would all put different spins on each candidate’s performance and point of view.
I had no trouble staying awake, fixated on the replays and analysis until a storm struck and the power blew. With time to reflect in the dark and then mull it all over in the days that followed, I’ve come to a few conclusions.
One, I’m grateful viewers were spared getting a dose of Gary Johnson’s “Aleppo moments.”
Two, the debate reflected more on the candidates’ personalities and style rather than the substance that should guide voters in choosing the next president.
Three, it’s pretty pathetic that sex and sexist scandals dating back two decades were hot-button issues that emerged after the cameras dimmed.
Finally, when October 9 rolls around I’ll have grapple with more questions. Do I really want to get sucked into watching Hillary and Donald duke it out again? Or would it be more illuminating to tune into reruns of other battle grounds like Dance Moms, Hell’s Kitchen and the Cupcake Wars?