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Help plot your future

If there is one question haunting everyone these days, it is: What is my future – and will it include another root canal. Here are some tips on how to find out.

1. Religion places your wishes in the hands of a powerful deity. The problem, of course, is that when billions of people are asking for answered prayers, the Almighty loses track. Because like me, he doesn’t write things down. And you have to keep praying.  That’s why gathering a lot of people to pray for you helps. But prayers have to be reasonable. People praying for rain are more likely to be listed than people praying for a carton of Snickers.

2. Let the stars tell you where you are going. Ever since humans could look up without rolling on their backs, they have looked to the stars for guidance. Astrology has been used for millennia to learn about ourselves and about our future.

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