Don’t get me wrong, I think the Bible and its stories are catchy — great characters, amazing special effects, and a quotable superheroes.
But as hard as I try, I always lose track of the plot after the snake scenes. And one has to question why there’s a bible in every hotel room, when all you want is an extra pillow.
The following conversation does indicate, though, that people are reading it.
Let me put you in the head of a representative of the wacky right. It won’t hurt, and this newspaper isn’t going to control your mind as a result. Ready?
Per an FBI undercover agent hanging out among one of the hate groups in the United States (you know them as the people wearing inverted fish and chip cones on their heads and faces): “One night, [I] sat up drinking bourbon with a Klansman who laid out the ‘dual-seed theory.’ In the Garden of Eden, it was Adam, Eve, and Abe. And Abel, born of Adam, sired the white race. Then came the snake with forbidden fruit — only, the ‘fruit’ was Eve sleeping with the snake. The snake, being Satan, fathered Cain and the ‘mud people,’ starting off with the Jews. Then, you got your Blacks, gays, commies, and Asians: They’re all the seed of Satan, too ... and are sinners so you can shoot them.” (Was disappointed they didn’t mention Sicilians.)
I know. Oh, it’s just a fringe group, right?
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