I’m really tired of archaeological discoveries. Every week it seems there’s news of an unknown human-like species nobody knew existed before.
They can tell this by looking at the skull of a single 8,000-year-old specimen. It tells them this species may be the hominins who invented cooking raw meat and serving it with two sides and a salad.
They know all that from a cheekbone the size of a mango pit. Can’t they just leave well enough alone? Do we really need to know these poor guys never died of natural causes, unless a natural cause in those days was a hole in the back of their skulls? I mean it’s 8,000 years ago. The paleo diet is always telling us stone-age people never died of heart disease. I guess not, if you’re 23 and you have a hole in the back of your skull.
Another thing, if they find a whole skull, it always looks like every other skull they’ve ever found and produces a reproduction of the face. It always looks like Brad Pitt. A few months of digging later they also discover that the area around the skull is an ancient city buried and abandoned, possibly because people died at 23 building pyramids. “Marta, I’m exhausted. I’m quitting this pyramid job. They plan to put a Costco in it.”
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